Long time ago, i dated a guy named Jim... we became friends, but the love I felt for him never went away

How I know that is when I'm not with kevin, the man who I've been seeing for over a year, Jim pops into my head and I get depressed. Doesnt help Mark just died either. I just want to be able to tell him how I feel and let him know I know this is no hope for me in another chance, because he likes skinny little bitches, and thats not me.

I loved him so much, and the being in love with him never went away... but I'm in love with someone else, and Jim's on the back burner. This is so confusing.

Megan is his on-and-off gf of three years, and I dont know what she has that I dont.

guess I'll figure that out later

going to graysons... later

So here is where I stand...

I think I like pippin a whole lot more than CJ... but thats what I think... what I now is I enjoy his company a hell of a lot more than CJ's... thats why i didnt text him yesterday or call him friday... I really like pippin... becuz He sees me for me, and be cuz his personality grabs me, and drags me in (not that im unwillin to be dragged in)

so opperation for this week...

Breaking up With CJ... for good.

welp... I've been chillin with Courtney like non stop so far this summer. I love this girl to pieces, I dono what I'd do without her... she's my bff, my partner in crime, my ddr buddy...

and I've also been chillin wit Rich n Temareo... and not that much of Jay... Justin and I are falling out of touch, and I dont like it as much as he does, but I do wanna see other people than him. I'm not into the serious dating type of stuff... ya know? I just am not that interested anymore. He's not someone who i can see myself with anymore. Not right now... a break may help. I thought the summer would, but it made things a lot worse.

Rich... he's been around for a while, just never eally ever thought he could ever think about me that way. Apparently I go good looking sometime between 7th grade and now, and people notice me more... so yea. He and his friend Temareo have some pics of me... lol. I love those guys.  but anyway, I really honest to god like Rich... I told Justin, and he wont do anything about it... he told me to not talk to him as much...

well god damn it... like I would do that... heh... right...

more later... talking to rich... <3